McCartney Green's Page

Since this site is about healthy body image, I will let you know where I've been and where I'm going in that respect.

I was a skinny preteen and a slim and very athletic teen. However, I didn't know that at the time because my father continuously told me I was fat. I think he did that because he was worried that I would get fat if he didn't ride me constantly. He and my mother divorced and he left us but the low self-esteem stayed with me. After that we had no money and my siblings and I were always hungry. There were times I stole candy bars from the local convenience store because I was so hungry. Even when I got older and got my first job (McDonalds :) and had money for food, I never felt as if I could get enough to eat.

When I married and my husband handed me money and said, here, go buy us groceries for the week, I was in "hog heaven." I became immediately pregnant and gained 35 pounds, putting me at a whopping 157! (I'd like to weigh that now!) I lost the weight within 1 month of having the baby. Second baby was the same. Third baby not so much. Gained 65, lost 35. Hmmm. This pattern repeated for the 4th, 5th and 6th babies. So now I'm 60 pounds overweight. 7th baby, I stayed about the same..... fat!
Over the next few years I gained another 25 pounds. And then something happened.
I got down to it. Something inside me screamed and somehow I found the strength amid raising children, financial crisis, and divorce to diet and exercise and lose 80 pounds.

Suddenly, I was considered sexy. Everyone started treating me nicer, men, school principals of my children, police officers began to flirt with me. Even one of my sons friends on the football team told him, "you're mom is hot."

And then.... several things happened. My marriage fell apart. I was sexually assaulted, I fell in love again, I remarried, I became ill and had a hysterectomy and gained 40 pounds. I injured my knees and had two different knee surgeries and gained another 40 pounds. And one day I looked in the mirror, really looked and I realized I was back where I started. And I was miserable.

No matter what happy things may happen in my life, they are always overshadowed by my weight and appearance. My husband may tell me we've won a vacation to some exotic beach, and I wouldn't have fun because of how I feel about my image.

I've tried to get hold of myself, to create the same miracle I did before, but for some reason I just can't find the strength. Well, one thing is, the weight takes a lot more work and a lot longer to come off now that I'm so much older.

But now.... I have a book published on Amazon and another one coming out this month and I've met some people who are thinking I should do promotional appearances, and I need to get dressed up and go speak to some book store owners and I think maybe I'm motivated to make a change in my health and life. I'm an athlete, a dancer, and a fitness enthusiast. I used to teach dance and aerobic classes. I can do this. I know how. Any comments are welcome. And so.... let me lift my spirits by showing you what I have produced... my book and a little video.

Dandelions Never Die - Book 1 of the Dandelions Series in now at Amazon.com!
Here's a little vid I made... I am so not good at this kind of thing so don't laugh!